What does Success Truly Mean?

Growing up I always thought that success meant making X amount of money, getting X job, but I've recently been exploring that idea that success is so much more.

Our Definitions of Success Are Different

I'm the son of two hardworking immigrant parents. They came from China with no money and had to work extremely hard to get to where they are today. When I was a kid, my dad held an accounting job while starting an accounting firm at the same time. He worked long hours, 9 - 5, then went straight to Brooklyn to work at his startup. After graduating college, he landed a job as an accountant making $30,000 / year, which is equivalent to ~$50,000 / year today. Despite the lack of money, he was grateful to have the opportunity to be in the United States, to work, and to develop his skills. Overtime, he climbed the corporate ladder. He landed an accounting job at Ernst & Young (EY), and from there he job hopped, increasing his salary as he did so. Today, he sits comfortably and works fully remote, knowing his skills are extremely valuable to any firm that's in need of accountants with years of experience, and thus makes a fantastic living.

This has been my definition of success for many years: Work hard, climb the corporate ladder, provide for your family.

Everyone's definition of success is shaped by their environment. What you grow up with, what you see, experience, who you're with, allow us to develop our definition of success. I'm not saying that this is wrong, but it's very easy to develop a definition of success that isn't yours. It's easy to develop a definition of success that has been pushed onto us. Thus, what we do throughout our lives isn't what we truly want, but what someone else wants for us.

My previous definition of success wasn't wrong, in fact it's what success is for many people. I want all of those things, but there's something else out there for me that I'm trying to figure out. It falls within the category of purpose. I believe that my previous definition of success lacks purpose.

I recently got a job as a Software Engineer at Amazon. I thought that this goal would bring me joy, happiness, prestige, and fill some sort of void. So I packed my bags, moved across the country to the west coast, while my girlfriend and family are still on the east coast. Now that I'm here, I'm realizing that I'm lacking something. I'm still trying to figure out what it is.

To me:

Finding Purpose

I'm still trying to figure out this question.

To start, I think it's extremely important to start doing things for yourself. I've been asking myself:

For the past 4 years of my life, it's always been about coding, landing an internship, getting my dream job. I've never stopped to ask myself this question amid the 5am gym sessions, 12 hour grind sessions, etc.

This part of my life is about exploration, becoming secure in who I am, and learning how to slow down and enjoy. At the same time, progressing my career, becoming a better engineer, and becoming a leader for myself and others.

It's quite paradoxical, but I think that's how life is. It's human nature to want one thing, but have the responsibility of something else. I think it's important to have goals, but even more important to find your purpose.